The holiday time is synonymously known for cheer, family, fun and friends. When we go through significant changes in our lives, such as divorce, the holidays can bring about feelings of anxiety and sadness. These unexpected and unwanted feelings may be difficult to interpret. Like most, those going through a divorce typically desire to regain a feeling of stability of emotions and to “find the person they once were before all this”.
It’s never easy when a marriage or significant relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split—and whether you wanted it or not—the breakup of a relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger an array of painful and unsettling feelings. Hold tight, there are plenty of things you can do to get through this difficult time and move on. You can even learn from the experience and grow into a stronger, wiser person.
Healing after a divorce or breakup
Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? A divorce or breakup is painful because it represents the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. Romantic relationships begin with hopes and dreams that maintain us through the course of the relationship. Both parties give each other their best in the beginning of the relationship, ensuring that the other’s needs are met. When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.
A breakup or divorce launches us into uncharted territory. Everything is disrupted: your routine and responsibilities, your home, your relationships with extended family and friends, and even your identity. A breakup brings uncertainty about the future. What will life be like without your partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up alone? These unknowns often seem worse than an unhappy relationship.
Recovering from a breakup or divorce is difficult. However, it’s important to know (and to keep reminding yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, so be patient with yourself.