Tips for grieving after a breakup or divorce:
Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.
Don’t bottle your feelings inside/ Talk to a good friend or counselor – .It is important to process your feelings with someone you trust that can be a good listener who understands that this is a delicate and difficult subject and time for you. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.
Moving on is the ultimate goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward. Maintain your level head even when the other party does not. You’re grieving and moving on process is about you… no one else.
Remind yourself that you still have a future – When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go. As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones. Your dreams are yours. They have the ability to be tangible. Allow yourself time so you can position yourself to decide if someone compliments your life in order to share and embellish those dreams.
Your feelings are NORMAL – The feelings associated with divorce are often compared to the grief felt after the loss of a loved one. It is normal to feel sadness, anger, resentment, hurt, anxiety, and loneliness. It is normal that you question yourself and your decisions. It is normal that you wonder what the other person is doing or if he/ she will change. It is even normal to wish you could erase the years spent with your ex so you could erase the feelings associated with your divorce. It takes time. You didn’t fall in love over-night and you are not going to erase all your feelings over- night either. When you allow yourself to work through your feelings it does get better and you will get past this. However, if these feelings are persistent and are interfering with your ability to complete your daily tasks, you may be suffering from depression.
Reach out to others for support through the grieving process
Support from others is critical to healing after a breakup or divorce. You might feel like being alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Don’t try to get through this on your own.
Reach out to trusted friends and family members. People who have been through similar situations can be especially helpful. They know what it is like and they can assure you that there is hope for healing and new relationships.